For the first time in my adult life, I did it. I truly checked out. Didn’t squeeze in any work calls. Didn’t outline any blog posts. Didn’t respond to any emails. FOR FOUR FULL WEEKS! 

It was the first time I was fully present for all of my Big Fat French Summer Vacation. I realize that for my American readers, this “achievement” may seem like a twisted joke. “How freaking hard can it be to enjoy your month off, lady? Lemme get out my handkerchiefs and cue the violins.” (you need to say this with a strong Brooklyn accent)

But truly checking out of everyday life, of the emails, the notification pings, the to-do lists, and the nagging voice in your head wondering if you’re doing enough, if you really deserve your break, is much more complex than it seems. 

So much so that before I signed off for the summer I not only created “The Self-Love Summer Road Trip” guide for you, I also committed to doing it myself. 

My “road trip” took me down to the South of France to visit my mother-in-law where I played tennis for the first time and learned I was actually pretty good at it. 

Then I traveled to my native NY where I saw extended family I hadn’t seen in decades, visited the college campus I attended 25 years ago, and spent two nights in Brooklyn in a house I hadn’t entered since 1995. 

But the highlight of my trip was what I found at the bottom of a giant green storage bin filled with my old stuffed animals. 

That bin had been there for decades, untouched. But this year, milling about in the upstairs room of my mom’s house with more free time than usual, I opened the lid, shifted some stuff around and discovered a Ziplock bag at the bottom of the bin filled with a bunch of those origami-style folded square notes that were all the rage in High School, and a cherished, long-lost love note from the first person I ever kissed. 

I stopped in my tracks, sat on the bed, and read through them all. Giving myself the time and attention to relive and reminisce about the person I was back then, the thoughts that dominated my mind as a kid, the perception that people had of me, the questions they asked, the secrets they confided in me. 

I let myself get lost in my thoughts. I even sat myself in a hammock after everyone went to bed for several nights in a row and just let my mind run free, savouring and retracing some of those flashes of memory that came surging back from the words and images on those pages.  

I came back to Paris feeling oddly giddy. Exhausted, of course, from the let lag and the insane back-to-school delirium, but none of it powerful enough to dim my summer high. 

In my sessions with clients I’ve been more animated and dynamic. Picking up on signals faster. Grinning wider and gesturing more purposefully. More natural and open about myself. 

Words seem to be flowing out of my mouth effortlessly. My heart feels like its beating at a slower rate. I’m more honest with my loved ones about my feelings. It’s as if the quality of everything around me has quadrupled. 

What’s going on? 

Where did this come from? 

How long will this last?

My guess is this: The Self-Love Road Trip that I embarked on in search of my favorite flowers, my preferred ice cream flavors, the people and things to express my gratitude to—all of these stops along the Self-Love Road Trip turned out to take me to a much deeper destination. 

While searching out these simple things, I was taking the time to be with myself, with my thoughts, with some of the lost treasures of the past that today’s rhythm races over. 

All of this has helped me build a more loving connection with, well, moi! 

I choose to take my time. 

To scale back the volume of my schedule.

To say no to opportunities.

To express my feelings more openly. 

To create time in my day for silence.

To play with and shape my thoughts to serve me.

To dedicate time to cultivating my voice. 

I’m on a mission to make these Self-Love discoveries a staple of my life. 

What’s your Ziplock bag discovery from your summer that you want to preserve and protect going forward?

Something about yourself that you learned to love and want to cherish above all else?