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"Don't Get Great At The Thing You Don't Want To Be"
It was an annual summer visit back home and my High School Brooklyn buddy Paul and I were catching up.
At the time, I was working at Yelp. I had a prestigious position and the perks to go with it: great salary, business trips, stock options, a supportive boss and inspiring team.
I was explaining my work situation to Paul when I started to feel my stomach tense up. Even with the dirty vodka martini and upstate small town tavern vibe, the conversation was tilting into 360-degree performance review territory.
“It’s all going well," I explained, taking a nervous sip of my cocktail. "But when I'm honest with myself I’m not sure how much longer I want to do this. What’s scary is that I think I’m in line for a "keys-to-the-castle" promotion that I won’t be able to refuse, but ultimately don’t want.”
Then Paul said something that made me put down my glass and break into a small sweat. “Don’t get great at the thing you don’t want to be.”
Since he uttered that phrase it's been ingrained in my soul. It hit a nerve, and gave language to what I was hiding from everyone, including myself.
It was an annual summer visit back home and my High School Brooklyn buddy Paul and I were catching up.
At the time, I was working at Yelp. I had a prestigious position and the perks to go with it: great salary, business trips, stock options, a supportive boss and inspiring team.
I was explaining my work situation to Paul when I started to feel my stomach tense up. Even with the dirty vodka martini and upstate small town tavern vibe, the conversation was tilting into 360-degree performance review territory.
“It’s all going well," I explained, taking a nervous sip of my cocktail. "But when I'm honest with myself I’m not sure how much longer I want to do this. What’s scary is that I think I’m in line for a "keys-to-the-castle" promotion that I won’t be able to refuse, but ultimately don’t want.”
Then Paul said something that made me put down my glass and break into a small sweat. “Don’t get great at the thing you don’t want to be.”
Since he uttered that phrase it's been ingrained in my soul. It hit a nerve, and gave language to what I was hiding from everyone, including myself.
By going above and beyond, by being hyper invested, by feeling like I was the best-qualified heir to the throne, I was pretending not to feel stuck in the golden prison of my "perfect" job.
Do you know what that feels like,? A lot of the women I’ve speak with about my coaching program, do.
They’ve become so good at masking their doubts by overachieving at their job, surpassing every one else’s expectations, that feeling stuck has starting to feel, well, normal.
When they ask me, "Doesn’t everyone feel stuck?” My response is “No, you’ve just gotten used to feeling that way.”
If that sounds like you, I highly encourage you to reach out for a free discovery call to discuss how my coaching program can help you:
Feel aligned with what you’re doing
Feel stimulated and in flow again
Take concrete steps to bring that feeling back into your life