Define your timeframe

It was 1999 and I was sitting opposite my therapist, Yael, worrying about what to do with the lease on my 4th-floor walk-up apartment above a Pet Store in Brooklyn.

Even though it smelled like fish food and wet dog every time I walked through the building, my apartment was conveniently located and affordable enough for New York. 
 

Should I extend the lease, and risk staying put for another year, or break it and go who knows where?

Beggars can't be choosers, I thought, but every ounce of my body wanted OUT OF THERE— not just the apartment but NYC all together.
 

I had until the end of the month to figure it all out. 

Then my therapist Yael dropped one of her golden reality bombs into the room: “Zeva, contracts can be broken and calendars can be adapted. There’s only one situation that has a non-negotiable timeframe—pregnancy!” 

BAM! Message received loud and clear.


I walked out of that session with a new lease on life (pun intended).


For the life of me I can’t remember if I extended the lease or not, but once that deadline became a non-issue, my mind lead me to a whole new sea of options (which eventually got me on a plane to Paris).

 

Why am I bringing this up?

Because as the end of the year approaches, we all try to rush to the finish line, jump over hurdles and past milestones to “make it” to the end of the year with all of our goals checked off in a row. 

As if deep personal growth can be squeezed out like the last blobs of toothpaste hiding at the bottom of the tube.

That’s just not how growth works. You can't force it. You can’t cram it it. You can’t expect that by the stroke of midnight on December 31st everything will suddenly be exactly as you want it to be. 

Calendars help us track seasons and collaborate with the rest of the world in an organized fashion. But they are not indicators of where we have to be in our lives. 

You don’t have to start a new job on Jan 1st. 

You don’t have to quit your job before you go on vacation. 

You don’t have to share your vague business ideas with your cousins over your holiday dinner. 

You don’t have to know with 100% certainty what your next career move is going to be when, over smoked salmon canapés, uncle Jean asks you what you've been doing with all of your free time since you left your last job. 

Think of Yael and my stinky old apartment when you feel the weight of the clock (and your loved ones, bless their well-meaning hearts). 
 

Every timetable is flexible, except one, so release the stress of competing with time, and yourself, and move at your own rhythm. 

You've got this!

Photo by Malvestida Magazine on Unsplash