How to avoid brain drain

Lice, strikes and no more mozzarella in any of the stores when you plan on making New Year's Day lasagna.
 

1. Is it the title of a new Coen brothers movie based on the Odyssey? 

2. A feminist podcast starring Tina Fey?

3. Or some of the energy-depleting experiences that decorated my winter break?

What's your guess?

If you think I'm using my random holiday turmoils as an excuse to complain, you've got another thing coming. 

They're actually awesome examples of how brain-drain works— meaning when your mind says "pas possible" to creative work because it's been depleted generating solutions to totally annoying problems. 

I always though that the long ramp-up to making a decision (be it ordering from a bible-size NYC Greek diner menu to deciding whether to pivot professionally) was what drained us the most intellectually, emotionally and physically. 

But Dr. Tara Swart, author of The Source, the book I'm currentIy obsessed with, says that it's the act of making the decision that's the most draining for our brains. 
 

"It is perhaps surprising that although the rumination that leads up to a decision requires mental energy, it's the point of decision making itself that is the most energy-intense for our brains. This explains why reducing the number of unnecessary choices in our day (what to wear, eat, watch, react to on social media) is an effective way to conserve decision-making energy for bigger and more important decisions."

This is why Steve Jobs wore the same outfit each day and why so many people do their most creative work in the morning before their brains have been zapped to death on emails and deciding what to eat for lunch.  

It's also why supermarkets strategically place the candy by the cash register: your brain's made hundreds of small choices by the time it gets to the counter that it's much more likely to crack for candy then. 

So, here are some suggestions for you:

• Reduce the number of small decisions you need to make daily. (e.g. mono wardrobe, batch cooking, delegating)

• Audit your most important decision making moments and your energy when you're making them. 

• Create a fail-safe, energy-generating morning routine that you do without having to think about it.

• Come up with a contingency plan before heading to the supermarket when you're vacationing in a small mountain village and plan on making lasagna for 12 people: what will you make if they're sold out of mozzarella or don't have the right size lasagna pan? 

Sending you much love and brain-saving energy. 

Photo by Paweł Czerwiński on Unsplash

How to get a full-body YES when making a big life decision

I pulled out a black-and-white marble notebook and drew a big line down the center of a page.  

It was Spring of 1992 and I was a Senior in High School. My mom, step-dad and my best friend Helen were with me celebrating at Fiorentino’s, the best Italian restaurant (RIP) in all of Brooklyn.

We had just finished off a couple of orders of “spiedini alla romana,” the deep-fried mozzarella with anchovy sauce that the restaurant was famous for and that I still dream about to this day.  

And now it was time to get down to some serious business before our main dishes arrived. Deciding which college I would go to the following year. 

So we did what most people do when faced with an enormous, once-in-a-lifetime decision: a pros and cons list! 

What a concise and curious way of making a huge life decision, don't you think?

• We challenge ourselves to get really, really cerebral and serious about a decision.

• We write down a bunch of items in each column in a factual, dissociated way.

• We diligently count up the number on each side. 

• We make a decision based on the column that has the highest score.

• We stick to that decision OR scrap it all and decide what we really want to do. 

• And we try to complete the task all before the check arrives!

Even though I’m pretty certain I made the right move when it came to college, as a coach I’ve learned that pros and cons lists are terribly flawed because they often neglect the physical and emotional components of decision making.


A better way to “experience” a decision is to travel into the future and try it on for size, looking for clues to what its impact may be from an emotional, physical and intellectual perspective.

When it comes to making full-body decisions I’ve seen my clients have huge revelations with the “sit and scan” technique we do together. 

So, what’s the “sit and scan” technique, how does it blow pros and cons lists out of the water, and how can you learn the steps to make full-body YES decisions all on your own?

Read on to find out.

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Imagine that each chair here represents a different life choice. Have a seat and see what comes up.

What’s the “sit and scan” technique?

Instead of simply using your rational mind to guide your choices, the “sit and scan” technique lets you experience your emotional, mental and physical impressions/reactions to a future scenario. 


How does it work?

The technique uses visualization to “travel through time” while actually sitting still. By projecting yourself into the future you can scan your body for what your feeling, saying and doing at two distinct moments in time. 

1. The moment right after you’ve made a decision.

2. Six months after making the decision. 

When the best moment to use this technique?

When you have 2 distinct choices that you’re struggling between. For example:

• Whether to accept a job with a prestigious brand with questionable management or go to the less illustrious tech company whose product you’re less passionate about. 

• Whether to switch companies and accept a position that has more responsibility and a higher pay while leaving a company that you’ve known for years. 

• Whether to take an ambitious promotion internally and jeopardize the work/life balance you’ve worked years to achieve. 

• Whether to leave a profession that makes you miserable but that you’ve worked decades to build, or to launch out on your own and start your own company. 

• Whether to accept a freelance gig with a former employer that you have a unhealthy relationship with, or say no and focused on the internal work you’re doing to uncover a new professional path. 

What materials do I need?

• Two equally comfortable chairs in a quiet space. 

• A notebook or voice recorder.

• A good hour of time ahead of you. 

• A friend or coach who stands nothing to gain from the outcome of your decision. 

What are the different steps?

Step 1:

Imagine that one chair represents Option A and the other Option B. 

Step 2:

Go sit in Chair A.

Close your eyes and visualize everything that is happening from the point of view of having just chosen that option. 

You’ve made the decision. Now answer the following questions: 

• How does your body feel?

• What is your breathing like?

• Do you sense any tension anywhere in your body? 

• If so, where? 

• If not, what are you feeling?

• What do you see?

• What do you hear?

• Who are you with?

• What are you thinking right now?

• What are your biggest concerns?

• How has your decision affected your entourage?

• What changes have taken place?

• What changes will take place?

• What excites you?

• What scares you?

• If you could improve anything about your current situation, what would that be?

Step 3: 

Stay in the same chair. But this time project yourself 6 months into the future. You made the decision to go with Option A six months ago. Now answer the following questions:

• How do you feel right now?

• What’s going on in your body?

• What are you saying to yourself?

• How do you feel about what’s happened over the last six months?

• What’s changed in your life?

• What’s remained the same?

• How has your entourage been impacted by your decision?

• What surprised you about the way things have unfolded?

• What have you learned about yourself?

• What do you wish had happened differently?

• If you could improve anything about your current situation, what would that be?

Step 4: 

Go sit in Chair B.

Close your eyes and visualize everything that is happening from the point of view of having just chosen that option. 

You’ve made the decision. Now answer the following questions: 

• How does your body feel?

• What is your breathing like?

• Do you sense any tension anywhere in your body? 

• If so, where? 

• If not, what are you feeling?

• What do you see?

• What do you hear?

• Who are you with?

• What are you thinking right now?

• What are your biggest concerns?

• How has your decision affected your entourage?

• What changes have taken place?

• What changes will take place?

• What excites you?

• What scares you?

• If you could improve anything about your current situation, what would that be?

Step 5:

Stay in the same chair. But this time project yourself 6 months into the future. You made the decision to go with Option A six months ago. Now answer the following questions:

• How do you feel right now?

• What’s going on in your body?

• What are you saying to yourself?

• How do you feel about what’s happened over the last six months?

• What’s changed in your life?

• What’s remained the same?

• How has your entourage been impacted by your decision?

• What surprised you about the way things have unfolded?

• What have you learned about yourself?

• What do you wish had happened differently?

• If you could improve anything about your current situation, what would that be?

Now what?

Only you can tell at this point which option, if any, feels right! You never know, there may be a third, fourth, or fifth option to consider if neither of the scenarios you’ve explored give you a full-body YES!