Breathing off the ledge
In March (aka pre-Coronavirus times) when kids went to school and we walked sidewalks freely, I picked up my youngest at school, saw his droopy eyes, and knew immediately he wasn’t well.
“Mama, je suis malade,” he said.
I pressed my hands to his warm forehand and a wave of terror washed over me. "Could it be the virus?"
Later that evening he woke up crying, the fever had gone up. We gave hime a Doliprane, and let him crawl into our bed.
My husband and I debated whether we should called 15, the emergency number here to report potential coronavirus cases.
We decided to do it. While my husband waited on the phone, I got under the covers next to my son, watching his face as he breathed heavily.
Five minutes went by, then eight minutes, eleven minutes…
All of the sudden, I noticed that my body was starting to shake all over, my jaw was chattering and my teeth clanking loudly.
My husband looked at me, puzzled, what was going on?
“I don’t know, I can’t stop shivering," I said. "What if I’m sick too, what if we’re all getting sick?”
That thought. That thought. That evil, terrifying thought.
Despite the growing panic in my body, I felt deep down that the doomsday thoughts in my head were likely causing all of the shivering.
So I closed my eyes, put my hands over my chest and took several long, deep breaths while we waited in silence for the operator to answer the call.
In the dead silence of the room my focus was on each and every breath, the rising and falling of my chest, the warmth and softness of my body under my hands. By the time the operator answered (after a 20 minute wait!) my body was relaxed, my jaw had stopped chattering and I was back to my usual self.
My husband described my son’s symptoms and the doctor on the line reassured him that it was likely a bad cold that would turn around in 24 hours.
You can imagine the relief we both felt.
Since that evening, things around the world have become more and more surreal and scary, but that moment where I was able to breath my way off the ledge of fear has become my anchor.
I knew that breath work and meditation were important for relieving stress and settling the mind. I’ve dabbled in meditation occasionally. I’ve done several months of daily mediation in the past. And I suggest to all of my clients that they start a mediation practice if they don't have one already.
But I am practicing what I preach now more than every because I can see first hand how my sanity, strength and serenity depends on it.
There are millions of things you can be doing right now to help you stay well during this surreal time.
I’m not here to preach to you, friend, I don’t want to add to the pressure out there to "succeed at quarantining.”
But I'm going to preach to you anyway: if you’re not mediating daily, now may be the best time to give it a try. Even 10 minutes a day. Just a moment to connect to your breath, and try to free up some space in your brain.
There are loads of places to do that now, and for free, here are some of my favorites:
Instagram Live:
Lili Barbery does a 50 minute daily mediation at 18h CET that’s great for the whole family. (French)
Sylvie Chayette does a very soothing meditation morning mediation at 8h30 CET. (French)
Online Communities:
My absolute favorite home yoga instructor, Yoga with Adriene, has a fabulous collection of mediations.
The fantastic wellness community, Commune, has created a free 21-day Yoga and Mediation Studio.
Live Streaming:
Mindfulness expert and all around soothing sage, Tara Brach, is doing live streams of her weekly meditations and even has a half-day mediation retreat guide that you can follow to create your own immersive mediation studio:
It goes without saying that I'm here for you and am sending you lots of love and healthy vibes right now.
Big hugs to you.
Zeva
PS. There's no right or wrong way to do this quarantine thing. Listen to your gut, take care of yourself, do what feels right and be kind to yourself. For me, that includes meditating, baking, dancing, reading cookbooks and trying not to control what I can't control.
PPS. If you want to chat, I've got some discovery slots open.
PPPS. I’ve created a free worksheet called Reinvent Your New Normal that helps you makes sense of all of the thoughts and feelings that have come up during confinement . You can get it sent to your inbox by clicking here.