Breathing off the ledge

In March (aka pre-Coronavirus times) when kids went to school and we walked sidewalks freely, I picked up my youngest at school, saw his droopy eyes, and knew immediately he wasn’t well. 

“Mama, je suis malade,” he said. 

I pressed my hands to his warm forehand and a wave of terror washed over me. "Could it be the virus?"

Later that evening he woke up crying, the fever had gone up. We gave hime a Doliprane, and let him crawl into our bed.


My husband and I debated whether we should called 15, the emergency number here to report potential coronavirus cases. 

We decided to do it. While my husband waited on the phone, I got under the covers next to my son, watching his face as he breathed heavily. 

Five minutes went by, then eight minutes, eleven minutes…

All of the sudden, I noticed that my body was starting to shake all over, my jaw was chattering and my teeth clanking loudly. 

My husband looked at me, puzzled, what was going on?

“I don’t know, I can’t stop shivering," I said. "What if I’m sick too, what if we’re all getting sick?”

That thought. That thought. That evil, terrifying  thought. 

Despite the growing panic in my body, I felt deep down that the doomsday thoughts in my head were likely causing all of the shivering. 

So I closed my eyes, put my hands over my chest and took several long, deep breaths while we waited in silence for the operator to answer the call.

In the dead silence of the room my focus was on each and every breath, the rising and falling of my chest, the warmth and softness of my body under my hands.  By the time the operator answered (after a 20 minute wait!) my body was relaxed, my jaw had stopped chattering and I was back to my usual self. 

My husband described my son’s symptoms and the doctor on the line reassured him that it was likely a bad cold that would turn around in 24 hours. 

You can imagine the relief we both felt. 

Since that evening, things around the world have become more and more surreal and scary, but that moment where I was able to breath my way off the ledge of fear has become my anchor. 

I knew that breath work and meditation were important for relieving stress and settling the mind. I’ve dabbled in meditation occasionally. I’ve done several months of daily mediation in the past. And I suggest to all of my clients that they start a mediation practice if they don't have one already. 

But I am practicing what I preach now more than every because I can see first hand how my sanity, strength and serenity depends on it.

There are millions of things you can be doing right now to help you stay well during this surreal time. 

I’m not here to preach to you, friend, I don’t want to add to the pressure out there to "succeed at quarantining.”  

But I'm going to preach to you anyway: if you’re not mediating daily, now may be the best time to give it a try.  Even 10 minutes a day. Just a moment to connect to your breath, and try to free up some space in your brain. 

There are loads of places to do that now, and for free, here are some of my favorites:

Instagram Live:
Lili Barbery does a 50 minute daily mediation at 18h CET that’s great for the whole family. (French)
Sylvie Chayette does a very soothing meditation morning mediation at 8h30 CET. (French)  
 

Online Communities:
My absolute favorite home yoga instructor, Yoga with Adriene, has a fabulous collection of mediations. 
The fantastic wellness community, Commune, has created a free 21-day Yoga and Mediation Studio.
 

Live Streaming:
Mindfulness expert and all around soothing sage, Tara Brach, is doing live streams of her weekly meditations and even has a half-day mediation retreat guide that you can follow to create your own immersive mediation studio:

It goes without saying that I'm here for you and am sending you lots of love and healthy vibes right now. 

Big hugs to you. 

Zeva

PS. There's no right or wrong way to do this quarantine thing. Listen to your gut, take care of yourself, do what feels right and be kind to yourself. For me, that includes meditating, baking, dancing, reading cookbooks and trying not to control what I can't control. 

PPS. If you want to chat, I've got some discovery slots open. 

PPPS. I’ve created a free worksheet called Reinvent Your New Normal that helps you makes sense of all of the thoughts and feelings that have come up during confinement . You can get it sent to your inbox by clicking here.

Reinvent your new normal

The men were chanting and swaying together while the women locked arms in a festive traditional dance. 


In the middle of the elaborate wedding scene in the fabulous new Netflix mini-series Unorthodox, I lost track of the story. All I could see were human bodies. 

Healthy living bodies. 

Lots of them in the same room.

Celebrating together. 

Moving together. 

Sweating together. 

Breathing in the same air. 

My eyes welled up with this thought: “When will people be able to get together like this again?”

As the initial stress and adrenaline of the first weeks of confinement subside, something else is happening: collective grief is giving way to aching acceptance a renewed sense of meaning. (this article explains the process brilliantly).

As a new reality sets in we’re learning to define and appreciate what matters most to us. 

When you peel back the layers of life as we’ve all been forced to do these last two weeks, suddenly you see with sharp clarity what counts most:

• My friend told me through tears the other day that she realizes how much she loves her life and how scary it is to think it could be taken from her.

• One client told me that she’s no longer willing to suffer at her job and is finally ready to leave it after15 years.

• And my son shocked us the other night at dinner claiming to love school because “each day feels different.” 

This period, while surreal and scary as hell, is also like a vinaigrette that’s been made hours before the guests arrive— the oil and acid have pulled away from each other into distinctly visible parts. 

So I have an idea for you, friend, what if instead of trying to quickly whip that vinaigrette up into a frothy homogenous dressing, you let it sit and separate some more to see what those parts look like? 

I’ve created new exercise called Reinvent Your New Normal that helps you do just that—see what matters most to you so that you can invent alternative ways to nurture those things (even in confinement) and roll into the post-confinement world with a clearer vision, and stronger tools, for moving forward with meaning.

Click here to get the free exercise sent to your inbox.

Be sure to email me (zeva@zevabellel.com) after you've completed the exercise so that I can give you some feedback and help you along your way. 

I hope that you and your loved ones are safe and in good heath. 

Trying to get a grip on this new reality of ours? I've got you covered with my brand new worksheet Reinvent Your New Normal. You can get the free worksheet  sent to you by clicking here. Feel free to share this post. It could be a great exercise to do with friends and loved ones in order to feel close and connected even at a  distance.