"Don't Get Great At The Thing You Don't Want To Be"

It was an annual summer visit back home and my High School Brooklyn buddy Paul and I were catching up. 

At the time, I was working at Yelp. I had a prestigious position and the perks to go with it: great salary, business trips, stock options, a supportive boss and inspiring team. 

I was explaining my work situation to Paul when I started to feel my stomach tense up. Even with the dirty vodka martini and upstate small town tavern vibe, the conversation was tilting into 360-degree performance review territory. 

“It’s all going well," I explained, taking a nervous sip of my cocktail. "But when I'm honest with myself I’m not sure how much longer I want to do this. What’s scary is that I think I’m in line for a "keys-to-the-castle" promotion that I won’t be able to refuse, but ultimately don’t want.” 

Then Paul said something that made me put down my glass and break into a small sweat. “Don’t get great at the thing you don’t want to be.” 

Since he uttered that phrase it's been ingrained in my soul. It hit a nerve, and gave language to what I was hiding from everyone, including myself. 

By going above and beyond, by being hyper invested, by feeling like I was the best-qualified heir to the throne, I was pretending not to feel stuck in the golden prison of my "perfect" job.

Do you know what that feels like,? A lot of the women I’ve speak with about my coaching program, do.

They’ve become so good at masking their doubts by overachieving at their job, surpassing every one else’s expectations, that feeling stuck has starting to feel, well, normal.  

When they ask me, "Doesn’t everyone feel stuck?” My response is “No, you’ve just gotten used to feeling that way.”

If that sounds like you,  I highly encourage you to reach out for a free discovery call to discuss how my coaching program can help you:

• Feel aligned with what you’re doing

• Feel stimulated and in flow again

• Take concrete steps to bring that feeling back into your life

One shift sets them free

Anne had a safe and successful career as Head of Strategy and Development at a prestigious not-for-profit. But she was bored and desperate for something more.

At 45-years-old, retirement was far away, but not that far away. What else could she do professionally between now and then that was worth risking it all?

Even though a close friend in the same industry radically shifted tracks after working with me, Anne signed up for coaching despite believing she was a "lost cause." 

Anne was experiencing classic “stuckness”:

• One part fear. 

• One part fuzziness. 

• One part disbelieving.

Does that recipe sound familiar to you,?

Most people believe clarity comes by thinking problems to death. By engineering a perfect, grand master plan before daring to take any action. 

That strategy never works (it just makes you more anxious). 

In my experience coaching hundreds of women, the recipe for getting unstuck isn’t macro, but micro.


First, you need to make a move, even the slightest, seemingly-insignificant one, to prove to yourself that: 

1. You’re capable of keeping promises to yourself. 

2. You’re capable of change.

3. Change isn’t so scary. 

4. You can trust yourself to move at your own pace. 

So what's Anne up to now? 

In our time working together Anne discovered her passion, and skill, for writing people’s stories. She took a short writing program that confirmed what she intuited, that she wanted to become a biographer. She got the endorsement from her beloved manager of 15 years to move ahead with her new career. She researched the best programs, and was accepted into a comprehensive course for biographers that started this Fall. She already has former clients and friends who have commissioned her services. 

And do you know what set the ball in motion? What got her unstuck? It was putting her running gear on before taking the kids to school. 
 

Yup, I'm totally serious. 

One small shift set her in motion. A freedom action. A self-love proclamation. A mini-identify shift. 

This mini-identity shift is part of a transformation process that I witness over and over and over again with my clients. One shift sets them free. 

I’m sharing this unstuck process in a small cohort class. 

Click here to get on the Getting Unstuck and Easing Into Action waitlist. It’s the first unstuck action you can do today.