One shift sets them free

Anne had a safe and successful career as Head of Strategy and Development at a prestigious not-for-profit. But she was bored and desperate for something more.

At 45-years-old, retirement was far away, but not that far away. What else could she do professionally between now and then that was worth risking it all?

Even though a close friend in the same industry radically shifted tracks after working with me, Anne signed up for coaching despite believing she was a "lost cause." 

Anne was experiencing classic “stuckness”:

• One part fear. 

• One part fuzziness. 

• One part disbelieving.

Does that recipe sound familiar to you,?

Most people believe clarity comes by thinking problems to death. By engineering a perfect, grand master plan before daring to take any action. 

That strategy never works (it just makes you more anxious). 

In my experience coaching hundreds of women, the recipe for getting unstuck isn’t macro, but micro.


First, you need to make a move, even the slightest, seemingly-insignificant one, to prove to yourself that: 

1. You’re capable of keeping promises to yourself. 

2. You’re capable of change.

3. Change isn’t so scary. 

4. You can trust yourself to move at your own pace. 

So what's Anne up to now? 

In our time working together Anne discovered her passion, and skill, for writing people’s stories. She took a short writing program that confirmed what she intuited, that she wanted to become a biographer. She got the endorsement from her beloved manager of 15 years to move ahead with her new career. She researched the best programs, and was accepted into a comprehensive course for biographers that started this Fall. She already has former clients and friends who have commissioned her services. 

And do you know what set the ball in motion? What got her unstuck? It was putting her running gear on before taking the kids to school. 
 

Yup, I'm totally serious. 

One small shift set her in motion. A freedom action. A self-love proclamation. A mini-identify shift. 

This mini-identity shift is part of a transformation process that I witness over and over and over again with my clients. One shift sets them free. 

I’m sharing this unstuck process in a small cohort class. 

Click here to get on the Getting Unstuck and Easing Into Action waitlist. It’s the first unstuck action you can do today.

Creating balance in chaos

Our whole division of remote employees was obsessed with it. Every team-building seminar I attended for the seven years at Yelp had a workshop about it.

Work-life balance was touted as the holy grail of professional and personal development. 

How do you stay in shape when you don’t have to commute? Why should you shower and get dressed when no one will see you all day? Why should you do one thing for yourself before checking your phone in the morning?

When I think of work-life balance I can’t help land on that clip from a few years back of BBC correspondent (aka BBC dad) giving this very serious live report about Korean politics when all of the sudden his two young children bombard his space (which we realize is actually a bedroom, and not an office) before his wife runs in with her pants falling down to round up the kids and escape the scene. 

If you haven’t seen the clip do so immediately for a little bit of comic relief.

The reporter worried he’d lose his job because his neat and in-control professional identity cracked open and unraveled in front of the entire world.

But the clip went viral and everyone fell in love with them

Why? 

I think it’s because it revealed a truth that we secretly pretended not to know: trying to divide your life into two separate silos, one personal and one professional, is an impossible feat. 

You are one individual. There is no work-life and life-life. It is all one life. 

If I’ve learned anything during confinement it’s that the work-life holy grail doesn’t exist. It’s bogus, a set-up, a fantasy likely invented by some Silicon Valley execs. 

Once you accept the fact that your two worlds are actually one, you can come up with some creative ways to create structure—a new structure— where there’s fluidity and flow between the two. 

First, instead of asking how you can balance your work and life right now, you can ask yourself what do I need to feel more balanced right now?

How can I be more me in each world? 

How can I bring more harmony to my days? 

So, how can you do that? Click over here for some tips for creating structure amidst chaos while using your own sense of serenity and balance as your guide. 

Tip 1: Identify Your Non Negotiables

Meals will need to be prepared. 

Naps will need to be had. 

Zumba zoom classes will need to be danced to. 

Children’s homework will need to be done. 

What are the current non-negotiables in your confinement life? And when do they take place? Put those in your calendar, make peace with them, and see where the holes are in your schedule. Don’t overcommit and overextend. Stick to one thing at a time.  The worst feeling you can have is feeling guilty for not being somewhere else. Be present where you are, with whom you’re with, and with what you’re doing. When it’s homework time with kids, be there and really try to get into it. I know in my case I’m learning a ton these days about the Renaissance and how to conjugate in French in the future tense. 

Tip 2: Rethink the Week

One of the stranger things about confinement living is how blurred the days are. Wednesdays feel like Sundays. Mondays like Fridays. And forget about the months. But use that blurriness to your advantage and rethink your week. Maybe Saturday morning is the best place to do contemplative work? And Sunday turns out to be prime time for responding to emails. In a post-work-life-balance reality you choose what time or day is most relevant and realistic for getting done what you need to get done. 

Tip 3: Repurpose Your Pad

Very few people have their homes set up for extended remote working (which is not at all the same as confinement, because remote working you can leave your house, work from a café or park) So you’ll need to get as comfortable with what you’ve got. Try to think of your space as a co-working arena with pods designated for different activities. Each space has a special function during the day, and then it returns to “normal” as much as possible when the work day is done. Make sure that everyone understands what is going on within that space and when. For example, my therapist friend does her Zoom sessions from her bathroom, a client has turned her bed into her office so that her kid can her 19th-month-old plays in the living room with her husband. Whatever space works best for you, make it as comfortable as you can. Put a pillow below your butt, light a candle, lay out some photos, whatever works for you.  

Tip 4: Over Communicate and be specific about your needs 

Now is the time to delegate and include your family as much as you can. You and your partner will need to coordinate schedules so that you can each get the amount of work done that you need to, your older kids will have to step up to the plate with the smaller ones. If you have small kids, let them know what’s going on, when you need to be alone, preempt their needs and of course, be kind to yourself, and to them if you get interrupted, as you most definitely will.

Conclusion

There isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula for creating work-life balance in confinement, or at any other time to be honest. That balance comes from within you, and is more of a personal feeling than anything else. If you feel balanced, then you are. Working with your limitations is the first step towards creating that inner peace. You need to adjust and adapt to your new reality, set aside time for the non-negotiables, be present with one task at a time, repurpose the days of the week, reimagine your pad into pods and over communicate your needs with the people you live and work with.

PS. Need help deciphering the wild emotions and thoughts that have come up during confinement? I’ve got you covered! Head over here to download my free worksheet “ Reinvent Your New Normal.” (Available in French or in English)