Creepy Stroller Stage Prop

The red-headed drag queen with the never-ending legs, gold glitter eyeshadow and pointy stilettos kept appearing on stage with a khaki-colored baby stroller from the 50s. 

Just like that creepy Rosemary’s Baby stroller with the devil’s baby inside. 

What the hell was that stroller doing there all of the time? 

Were the songs all about babies? Collateral from previous relationships? Reflections on responsibility and independence? The pursuit of liberty? Growth and transformation?

I had no clue.

All of the songs performed that night were by an old-school French composer named Jean-Jacques Goldman that none of us American expats in my entourage had ever heard of. (side note: a friend chose the campy drag show as a fun offbeat activity for a birthday celebration, and it was a BLAST!). 

When the stroller appeared on stage for the third time, my friend Ajiri leaned over and whispered the exact question that was running through my mind for the last 45 minutes: “What’s the deal with the stroller?”

Then I looked carefully and realized that the stroller wasn’t just a bizarre prop, but a makeshift stand for the drag queen’s song lyrics. That’s why she was always singing to the stroller!

I shared my discovery with Ajiri and we both agreed how freaking brilliant that was, and here’s why:

1. Evaluate & focus on the essentials, even if it means making some adjustments:
   Since the performances at Madame Arthur change each week, the drag queens only have a few days to learn their songs. (next week: Barbra Streisand). That means they either have to sweat their sweet cheeks off all week memorizing those boring lyrics or come up with another way to put on a great show. My  guess is that they have better things to do between shows and feel like the stroller/lyric stand is a fabulous and cryptic work around for saving their precious time.
   

2. Don’t let memorizing lyrics hold you back from being a diva onstage (aka process over perfection):
   One of the amazing things about working with constraints is how it forces you to get creative. We think we have to master everything, be an expert, reach that perfect (unattainable) place, that we never try anything for fear of failing and looking like a fool! But what’s so amazing about recognizing your limits is that you can get creative with what is in your control, and surprise yourself and others and bring a whole lot a joy to the process but just saying, “This is where I am now and this is what I’ve got. Enjoy!”
   

3. Perfection is boring. Share your eccentricities and imperfections to inspire and empower.
   By doing/being who you are (limits, strollers and all) instead of waiting for the magic wand to make you perfect, you’ll create a ripple effect around you that inspires others to let their hair down and loosen up a bit. You can role model anything you want, including authenticity. And guess what. People see it and love it. Myself included. I’m now inspired to find my creepy stroller prop for my next scary challenge: getting on stage and singing at an open mic jam at a rock school performance with my husband (he’s a rock teacher for kids and adults and has convinced me that this will be fun!). I’m freaking out but also really want to do it. 
   

So what do you think my creepy stroller prop should be?

And more importantly, what creepy stroller prop do you need to create to try that thing out that you think you’re not ready for?

Death to perfection and the rise of the real

When I started learning about values I discovered “authenticity” was a bad mama jama value for me. 

When I meet someone I don’t want the glossy, airbrushed, everything is “GREAT!” version of life, I want it real and raw. I want the cracks in the pavement. The frays around the edges. 
 

The moment someone drops the mask and lets you in — there’s nothing else like it. 

Knowing that they trust you with their fears, doubts, or fantasies (of wanting to slowly roll out of a moving car to escape kids screaming in the back, for example). That’s the real deal. That’s connection. That’s the juicy stuff that makes life worth living. 
 

Everything else is like a canned laugh track from an 80s sitcom. You can sniff that fake nonsense from a mile away but after a while you become totally numb to it. 
 

Today, we’re so inundated with filtered, curated perfection that when someone shares authentically it explodes through the white noise of blah-ness, gives you a rush of adrenaline, and then immediately makes you feel less weird.  

If we let our masks down and started sharing more authentically it would do the world a whole lot of great. 

It would make friendships better. 

It would make marriages better. 

It would make leaders better. 

It would make businesses better.

Don't just take my word for it, though. Here are some thoughts on authenticity from some pretty awesome women leaders. 

Patty McCord, former Chief of Talent at Netflix, on Girl Boss Radio podcast "Company Culture Expert, Author and Former Chief Talent Officer of Netflix" May 9 2018

"So the most important thing to be is authentic. If you’re wandering the floor and you don’t really like people and you’re wandering the floor to see who’s fucking up. Then that’s not going to work so well for you. If you’re the person that has better conversations 1:1 and you like getting more deeply into it, then have a bunch of skip-level meetings. You might want to have a different methodology about it. What’s really important is that you are who you say you are.”

Tina Müller, CEO of Douglas, from the article “Is there still room for authenticity in our professional lives?” published July 20, 2018 on LinkedIn

“Authentic people are brave enough to question the status quo! It’s about seeing things from a very personal perspective, as well as from new perspectives and standpoints, and reasoning with enthusiasm and credibility. That’s how things change – and ultimately move forward. Conventions and shared values give a team or a business a form of consensus, a framework, and behavioural regulation. However, I realised very early on in my career that without authenticity we become like mice on a wheel. A business cannot be successful unless both pillars – convention and authenticity – are supporting it.”

Marie Forleo, on Amy Porterfield’s podcast "How to 10X Your Results in 2018 (and Beyond) with 3 Dead Simple Strategies" Feb 18, 2018

“You have no idea the level of relief that people will feel and the level of connection they start to associate with you when you show them different sides of yourself. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable. When you let them see the real you, all of you. And you dismiss this notion of trying to be perfect….I don’t care what business that you’re in. People want to do business with another human that they can relate to. Someone who shows them all of who they are. The ups, the downs, the lefts, the rights, the good, the bad, people want all of you and don’t be afraid to share it.” 

Exercise: Increase your authenticity in 6 easy steps

1. In one sentence, what does “authentic” mean to you?
2. When and where and with whom are you the most authentic?
3. How does that authenticity make you feel?
4. What does it allow you do to?
5. Where else in your world would you like to be more authentic?
6. What impact would that have on you and on others? 

I’d love to help you get more in touch with your wild, authentic side.

So comment below with your responses or email me at zeva@zevabellel.com