Unmasking and overcoming imposter syndrome
I’ve got a serious-as-all-hell bone to pick. And it’s not about the man currently in the White House whose name makes my blood boil.
I’m talking about another mother of all evil: Imposter syndrome.
When I sense its presence I literally want to stand up, scream at the top of my lungs, and start throwing the contents of my bookshelf on the ground like a lunatic.
Why? Because its presence hisses through the words of my clients telling me why they don’t have what it takes to go after what they want.
That whatever proof exists that they DO have what it takes— like experience, skills, passion, intuition, desire, creativity, energy, praise,, determination—NEVER add up to enough.
It’s a classic battle of reality vs fantasy (which is a theme very much on trend considering the biggest imposter on the planet is currently using fantasy to lock in his power).
Why does reality have such a hard time winning against fantasy?
Why do women feel like imposters when there’s ample evidence they’re extremely (if not overly) qualified to level up, go after and defend what they care about?
You know that imposter syndrome is speaking when you hear sentences like:
“I won’t be taken seriously.”
“My argument is going to fall apart .”
“I don’t have the vocabulary to be convincing.”
“There are so many things I don’t know well enough, they’re going to find out I’m a fraud.”
“I’m not credible enough.”
Those thoughts lack proof and wouldn’t necessarily hold up when put to the test.
How do you know you won’t be taken seriously?
How do you know your argument is going to fall apart?
How do you know you’re going to lose confidence and start scrambling?
How do you know there are more eloquent speakers on that subject?
How do you know you lack the vocabulary to be convincing?
Take your beliefs to trial and see what evidence there is to back them up.
If some of them hold up, ok, that's cool, now what?
What do you need to build up your vocabulary, learn some technical jargon, feel more confidence about the subject you’re defending?
Do you need to research the subject?
Ask a specialist for their input?
Practice getting your talking points in order?
In my opinion imposter syndrome is two forces working at once:
Strength devaluation. Because our strengths flow so naturally and show up with little effort, we have a tendency (especially as women) to undervalue our inherent skills and strengths. We take them for granted and think that everyone is just like us.
Lack amplification. Because of our historic and cultural underrepresentation in leadership roles we believe that we don’t belong and won’t be taken seriously unless we know everything, have every skill, master every friggin possible situation and scenario.
I feel like the antidote to imposter syndrome is to flesh out each bucket and get as granular and evidence-curious as you can.
What are your “empirically proven” strengths? (If you don’t know, ask around!)
How can you amplify them?
What knowledge or skills are you missing that you know will really help you move the needle?
How can you cultivate them, delegate them, practice them?
And what’s the next bravest move you can take to get the ball rolling?
Let me know how this message lands for you.
More than ever I’m on a mission to make sure that women never bulk under the weight of unverified beliefs that keep them from their purpose and power. We just can’t afford that. Not today, not tomorrow.
PS. I’m going to be doing an Instagram live on December 3rd 2020 at 12h30 CET with one of my clients, Christelle Tissot Grosset, founder of the new media platform Müsae. We’ll be talking about her journey unmasking and overcoming her imposter experience to move forward with her exciting new media project. Follow me over on Instagram to listen in.