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Get into your growth groove
It was the official rentrée, the first chaotic day of reality after a long summer break.
We were walking among perfectly-coiffed kids with their new backpacks and outfits on their way to school when I glanced over and saw my toddler hobbling along with his heels hovering in the air.
“Shit!” I said to my husband. “We forgot to get him new shoes.”
My son was so obsessed with his red suede Adidas we conveniently overlooked him busting out of them.
Next day at the shoe store, we embarrassing learned he had grown, not one, but two shoe sizes! Needless to say when he put his new sneakers (Adidas, again!) he was born-again.
Ripping his beloved pacifier out of his mouth big-boy style, he started running — down the ailes, down the street, to the park, around the park. Tirelessly, enthusiastically, like he had a new set of Duracell batteries on full blast.
It was the official rentrée, the first chaotic day of reality after a long summer break.
We were walking among perfectly-coiffed kids with their new backpacks and outfits on their way to school when I glanced over and saw my toddler hobbling along with his heels hovering in the air.
“Shit!” I said to my husband. “We forgot to get him new shoes.”
My son was so obsessed with his red suede Adidas we conveniently overlooked him busting out of them.
Next day at the shoe store, we embarrassing learned he had grown, not one, but two shoe sizes! Needless to say when he put his new sneakers (Adidas, again!) he was reborn.
Ripping his beloved pacifier out of his mouth big-boy style, he started running — down the ailes, down the street, to the park, around the park. Tirelessly, enthusiastically, like he had a new set of Duracell batteries on full blast.
It was a total and immediate energy upgrade.
As a kid, things like new shoes are empowering evidence of your growth. Your potential. Your energy. Your strength.
But what happens as an adult? When the changes in your body no longer signal empowering growth? What other signs define it?
Since la rentrée kicked off there’s been a common theme among the people I’ve met with.
Growth. And the desire for more of it day-to-day.
As a coach, when I hear someone talk about big concepts like "growth" my next move is to dig in and investigate just what it means:
How do you know when you’re growing?
What do you need to grow?
What does it look like?
What does it feel like?
What does it allow you to do?
To one woman I spoke with it means working transversally across different formats and departments and having the freedom to innovate and bring value in her own unique way.
To another it means transforming theoretical concepts into tangible actions and making a concrete impact in the word.
To another it means going super deep and developing her skills and proficiency in a specific field.
Here’s what’s important to remember about the growth groove: it’s not a one-size-fits all concept.
It means something different to us all.
But it is a mindset that needs nurturing if you want to feel alive.
Without growth, you wind up feeling dullness, stagnation, inaction, sluggishness.
The very feelings that make you want to curl up and call in sick for a few days, or even a few weeks.
In France insurance companies and the government are freaking the hell out. Since the beginning of 2018 there’s been a 6% increase in medical leave payments.
The cause? No one can say for sure, but the government thinks employees are feeling more and more stressed out and crappy at work and they want companies to do something to fix that (or start paying the bills).
Growth isn’t a blanket panacea. I'm not suggesting that it's the end-all solution to a suffering system.
But I do believe that companies should spend more time observing and asking questions about the type of growth that each employee craves.
It’s likely not what they think it means to their employees (moving up the ladder, getting more vacation time, or a bigger salary). It could be a lot simpler than that.
My suggestion?
If you’re a manager and are struggling with team burn-out:
Get to know the growth needs of each person on your team. Spend quality time on this. Look for concrete examples. Observe trends. In what context does your employee thrive? When do they limp around like a toddler in tight shoes?
If you are thinking about making a professional change because you’re not growing:
Get crystal clear on what growth means, looks and feels like to you in your quest for self-realization.
So tell me dear reader, what’s your new pair of Adidas like? How do they look? What do they feel like? And what do they allow you to do? Leave a comment below or send an email to: zeva@zevabellel.com
Like bad ass flowing water
I reluctantly turned down a perfect margarita on the rocks at the lively Mexican restaurant we were dining at. I had to drive the whole kit and caboodle back to my mom's house in upstate NY and the roads are tricky there at night.
It was a good thing I didn't indulge.
Fifteen minutes into our drive we had to shut off the radio, get the kids to stop fighting and seriously focus on the road because we were suddenly caught in a thunderstorm so intense it felt like an end-of-the-world action film.
I’ve never seen that much water fall that hard and that quickly. And for miles and miles and miles. I kept my calm for the kids but I was freaking the hell out.
It reminded me how bad ass water can be. It’s super discreet until it’s totally not. And it never seems to try that hard.
I reluctantly turned down a perfect margarita on the rocks at the lively Mexican restaurant we were dining at. I had to drive the whole kit and caboodle back to my mom's house in upstate NY and the roads are tricky there at night.
It was a good thing I didn't indulge.
Fifteen minutes into our drive we had to shut off the radio, get the kids to stop fighting and seriously focus on the road because we were suddenly caught in a thunderstorm so intense it felt like an end-of-the-world action film.
I’ve never seen that much water fall that hard and that quickly. And for miles and miles and miles. I kept my calm for the kids but I was freaking the hell out.
It reminded me how bad ass water can be. It’s super discreet until it’s totally not. And it never seems to try that hard.
It doesn't second guess itself and wonder:
"How am I going to get around this thing?”
“Is this too much?”
“Am I allowed to be here?“
"Should I be doing it this way?"
Nope. It just flows. Over, through, around or in-between with a force that’s relentless, rhythmic, mesmerizing.
I’m fascinated by the concept of “flow.” Being in it. Watching it. Seeing what comes out of it.
My favorite part of my visualization workshop is when the group arranges their cut-out imagery on their vision boards with my R&B play list going on in the background.
Everyone's so focused and absorbed by what they’re doing there’s this humming flow to their movements. With little time to question their moves, they just have to go with what feels right.
Like bad ass flowing water.
When we behave like water we learn a lot about what we naturally migrate towards.
What we do when we are at our intuitive best. When everything feels totally in sync and easy and fluid.
For me that happens on a few specific occasions.
- When I cook.
- When I converse.
- When I walk.
- When I coach.
- When I write.
We so often over-complicate things. Try to force ourselves to be or become someone that we’re not. But what if there was less friction and more flow to our goals and our desires?
Try that idea on for size if you want with these questions:
- In what three situations do you intuitively know what to do?
- What's going on in those moments?
- How does it feel to be there?
- How often do you allow yourself to go there?
- What would happen if you strengthened that flow in you?
- Where would that get you?
PS. Speaking of "flow," there’s a three-hour Life Flow exercise that I love that clarifies desires based on natural tendencies, strengths and passions. At the end of the experience you’ll know exactly what steps you need to take right now to bring your goals to life.
I don’t usually offer Life Flow as a stand-alone coaching exercise, but it’s a great tool to get through the overwhelm of Fall in order to find your footing to move ahead with confidence during this tricky time of the year.